would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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