Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
