SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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