he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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