Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
