dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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