I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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