he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
