I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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