i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
