how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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