STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
