She's JV to your varsity
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
