Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
