Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize