For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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