I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
