i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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