Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Text me some of your sweat
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
