Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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