WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
