May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
