It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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