Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
