cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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