and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
