I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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