so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
