Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
