Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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