dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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