You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I am midnight drunk by noon
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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