whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
