They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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