Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
