If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
3pm strippers are depressing
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Drake has all the answers
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
