I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
