it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
