its not stalking. its research.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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