THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
