So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
