just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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