you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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