Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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