i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
