did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you didnt know i had herpes?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
