why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I currently don't understand fingers.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
