I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
