She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
