using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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