I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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