you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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