I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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