help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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